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Inspire Me (September 2007)True stories, quotes and information on inspiration, leadership and kindness to provide hope and direction in your life. 9 Things You Simply Must Do By Dr. John C. Maxwell Oprah Winfrey and Anderson Cooper are two of the most popular media personalities in America. Yet, their backgrounds hardly could be more dissimilar. Oprah was born to unmarried teenage parents in rural Mississippi. Anderson’s mother was fashionable railroad heiress, Gloria Vanderbilt, and his father was a successful writer/editor in Manhattan. Oprah grew up in poverty, spending her childhood in the inner-city ghettoes of Milwaukee. Anderson was born into wealth. He appeared with his mom on The Tonight Show when he was three, and he modeled for Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, and Macy’s as a child. Yet, for all of their differences (background, race, and gender), Oprah Winfrey and Anderson Cooper have unmistakable similarities. At some level, they resemble each other. They have an aura of success that identifies one with the other. For example, both Oprah and Anderson Cooper consistently deliver. Whether it’s a talk show, a book club, or a cause she has adopted, we can rely on Oprah’s candor, inspiring energy, and excellence. The same consistency can be attributed to Anderson Cooper. One night he’s reporting from New York, the next night from Cairo, and he’s in London the day after that. Yet, when we turn on CNN, we can count on him to be poised, polished, and deliver the news with excellence. What is it about successful people, like Oprah and Anderson Cooper, who, although completely different in background and style, are almost identical in their approach to work and life? In his book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life, Dr. Henry Cloud passes along his observations of nine principles commonly practiced by the successful people he knows. The book drips with leadership application, and I would like to take this lesson to summarize Dr. Cloud’s insights. Principle #1: Dig It Up Each person has a treasure trove of ability inside of them. Everyone has dreams and desires lodged within their soul. Why do some people dig deep and take hold of their dreams while others let them drift away? According to Dr. Cloud, successful people give sustained attention to what stirs within them. They find outlets for their passions. Exercising their strengths is non-negotiable. Principle #2: Pull the Tooth Many people I know have an irrational fear of the dentist’s office. The idea of someone poking and prodding in their mouth fills them with dread. Amazingly, some people are afraid to the point where they would rather suffer discomfort day after day rather than undergo the temporary pain of a visit to the dentist. As Dr. Cloud has observed, successful people go to the dentist. They face their fears and make the appointment. They pull the tooth that is causing the nagging ache and, by enduring the pain, they come out better on the other side. Successful people refuse to carry their baggage through life. They confront their hurt, disappointment, and anger early, and they seek emotional freedom from life’s injuries. Likewise, successful people quickly recover when they fail. Rather than succumbing to a downward spiral of disappointment (or even depression) they come to terms with the failure, make course adjustments to their lives, and move on. Principle #3: Play the Movie Dr. Cloud recommends the exercise of playing a movie of your life in which you are the hero or heroine. What traits does your character have? What happens during the plot of the movie? Who do you starring alongside you? How does your movie inspire the people in the theater? Most people live their life and then look at it. Do the opposite. Look at your life and then live it. Envision and step toward the future you want to experience. Don’t wake up one day to realize that your life is like a B-grade movie—you don’t want to leave in the middle, but you would never want to watch it again! Principle #4: Do Something Dr. Cloud’s fourth principle is short and to the point: successful people do something. They initiate, create, and generate. Successful leaders are proactive as opposed to reactive. “They do not see themselves as victims of circumstances,” Cloud writes, “But as active participants who take steps to influence outcomes.” Their days and their lives are controlled by internal motivations rather than external currents. In a similar vein, successful people take ownership for their destinations in life. They don’t assign blame; they welcome responsibility. They refuse to cede their freedom to others and live dependently. The successful person has done leadership’s toughest task—mastered the art of self-leadership. The benefit of leading yourself well is that you don’t have to rely on others to provide direction for your life. You get to plan the course. Principle #5: Act Like An Ant “Go
to the ant, you sluggard; Dr. Cloud points to the ant to develop another principle of success. Three lessons stand out from the metaphor of the ant. First, they appreciate the ethic of hard work. Their lives are a flurry of constant activity as they tirelessly search for food. Second, ants refuse to give up. They never abandon the hunt, crawling through cracks and crevices in their pursuit of a morsel. Third, ants understand the value of compounding. Grain by grain an ant builds the hill that becomes its home, and crumb by crumb they accumulate storehouses of food. Principle #6: Hate Well In his writing, Dr. Cloud talks about focusing feelings of anger constructively to solve problems or end injustice. As he develops his idea of “hating well,” he distinguishes between subjective hate and objective hate. Subjective hate is toxic. Dr. Cloud describes it as, “a pool of feelings and attitudes that resides in our soul, waiting for expression. It is not directed at anything specific or caused on any given day by any specific object. It is already there, sort of like an infection of the soul.” Subjective hate poisons and corrupts the person who houses it. On the contrary, objective hate can be described as anger with a purpose. Objective hate protects by standing in opposition to dishonesty, exploitation, or deceit. Objective hate may spark entrepreneurship. In fact, many successful businesses have begun as a result of the founder’s hatred of poor service or shoddy quality. Principle #7: Don’t Play Fair Fairness says “an eye for an eye,” or “a tooth for a tooth.” Fairness weighs all actions in a balance and continuously moves to equilibrium. The rule of fairness means good actions deserve kind responses, and bad behavior deserves punishment. In Dr. Cloud’s opinion, living in accordance with fairness will destroy every relationship in life. With everyone keeping score of favors bestowed and received, eventually someone will feel victimized when a good deed goes unreturned. As a leader, I’ve learned the high road is the only road to travel on. Don’t treat others according to what they deserve; treat them even better than you would prefer to be treated. By doing so, you’ll keep integrity and avoid sticky accusations or petty arguments. Principle #8: Be Humble “Pride
is concerned with who is right. In Dr. Cloud’s estimation, successful people have a healthy dose of humility. Humility has an internal and external component. Internally, humility comes when we admit our errors, and open ourselves to instruction. Externally, humility is gained when we show patience for the faults of others, and when we are quick to shine the spotlight on the successes of others. Principle #9: Upset the Right People A person’s success will always be inhibited if he or she tries to please all of the people all of the time. I like how Dr. Cloud explains the principle of upsetting the right people: Do not try to avoid upsetting people; just make sure that you are upsetting the right ones. If the kind, loving, responsible, and honest people are upset with you, then you had better look at the choices you are making. But if the controlling, hot and cold, irresponsible or manipulative people are upset with you, then take courage! Be likeable and be gracious, but don’t sacrifice your identity or values for the sake of harmony. Review: 9 Things You Simply Must Do for Success Principle
#1 – Dig It Up LEADERSHIP
LESSONS FROM A MODERN-DAY HERO He walked away from $1 million a year. He forfeited the luxury and status afforded to a professional football star. In a nation where athletes are worshipped, he chose the anonymity of serving his country halfway around the world. Ultimately, Pat Tillman sacrificed his life to protect the United States. What can we learn from the man who may be America’s most well-known casualty in the war on terror? More than can be written in a simple article, certainly, but three lessons stand out: 1.
A leader chooses purpose over perks. A LEADER’S CHOOSES PURPOSE OVER PERKS Leaders don’t allow dollar figures to dictate how they make decisions. Rather, leaders dig within to bring out the best they have to offer to the world—regardless of the compensation. Likewise, they aren’t seduced into settling for a life of luxury. Leaders have a burning passion to make a difference. As a result, they willingly put themselves on the front lines (literally in Tillman’s case) to be in the place of greatest responsibility. Pat Tillman had been offered a three-year, $3.6 million contract with the Arizona Cardinals football team before he enlisted in the army. He could have cashed in on it, retired in his early 30s, and lived comfortably the rest of his life without ever setting foot in Afghanistan. Yet, Pat Tillman was a leader, and he wasn’t about to compromise his sense of duty. He loved his country, and he recognized his talents would be well-suited to serve U.S. interests on the battlefield. “Pat knew his purpose in life,” said Dave McGinnis, Tillman’s former coach with the Cardinals. “He proudly walked away from a career in football to a greater calling.” THE GLORY OF A LEADER IS TO SACRIFICE FOR THE COMMON GOOD. In America, we are quick to assert our individual rights and slow to exercise our responsibility to the community. The generations who persevered through the Great Depression and the World Wars are passing from the stage. We are reaping the benefits of their sacrifices without having to endure their hardships. Perhaps for this reason, we feel a sense of entitlement. We feel like the world owes us a life of ease and affluence. Children expect to be paid allowances, and teens assume they’ll be handed keys to a new car when they turn 16. We feel deprived without wireless internet, TiVo, and HDTV. Counter to modern culture, leaders know no entitlement. They think in terms of creating rather than consuming. They value corporate welfare above individual security. Pat Tillman’s life bears out this philosophy. In his mind, it was unthinkable to enjoy life in the USA while soldiers protected his freedom abroad. He felt compelled to be the protector, not the one enjoying the benefits of protection. A LEADER’S SACRIFICE MAY NOT BE COMPENSATED WITH REWARDS. Tragically, Pat Tillman gave the ultimate sacrifice to his country. His selflessness and bravery led to his death on the battlefield. Leaders cannot be certain of the costs their sacrifice will require of them. For every soldier who stands victoriously after the war has been won, another soldier lies lifeless on the battlefield. Many times, a leader pays the ultimate price with no reward but the hope of bettering the lives around him or her. Pat Tillman was an American hero. His life serves to remind us of the tremendous sacrifices we may be asked to make as leaders. Also, his story brings to mind the courageous men and women serving our nation overseas. We thank them for their sacrifice, and we wish them safety and a speedy return home. FOUR STEPS FOR CRISIS LEADERSHIP On September 11, 2001 we witnessed both the destructive power of evil leadership and the resilient power of heroic leadership by FDNY, NYPD, and countless others. One figure who still stands tall as an example of effective leadership during the crisis is former New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani. Regardless of your political leanings, Guiliani's leadership during the 9/11 tragedy is something leaders from all walks of life can learn from. In his book titled Leadership, Giuliani writes, "It is in times of crisis that good leaders emerge." Giuliani demonstrated that during times of crisis, leaders must do four critical things: be highly visible, composed, vocal, and resilient.
Giuliani writes, "While mayor, I made it my policy to see with my own eyes the scene of every crisis so I could evaluate it firsthand." During a crisis, leaders must be out front rather than running or hiding from the ordeal. They must go to the scene of disaster and stand front and center - to accurately assess the situation as well as show their concern, while also demonstrating confidence that the group will persevere. Business author Tom Peters writes of Guiliani's courage to be visible: Rudy "showed up" - when it really mattered, on 9/11. As one wag put it, he went from being a lameduck, philandering husband to being Time magazine's "Man of the Year" in 111 days. How? Not through any "strategy," well-thought-out or otherwise. But by showing his face. By standing as the embodiment of Manhattan's Indomitable Spirit. As a leader, be sure you don't retreat when faced with a crisis. Rather than hide from the chaos and confusion, be sure to step in to sort things out and find a solution. Again, political preferences aside, the importance of being visible during a crisis can also be learned from George W. Bush's presidency. Like Giuliani, Americans rallied around President Bush when he went to Ground Zero and grabbed a bullhorn amid the rubble to reassure the nation. Contrast that with President Bush's lack of a timely response to Hurricane Katrina. Bush was noticeably absent during the first few days of the crisis and his poll numbers took a big hit. Bottom Line: Step up during a crisis to survey the scene and be there for your people.
Guiliani writes: "Leaders have to control their emotions under pressure. Much of your ability to get people to do what they have to do is going to depend on what they perceive when they look at you and listen to you. They need to see someone who is stronger than they are, but human, too." No matter how difficult things may seem, you must maintain your poise under pressure. People will be looking to your face as well as tuning into the tone of your voice to determine whether they should panic or remain calm; to give in or maintain hope. As Duke men's basketball coach reminds us in his book Leading with the Heart, "A leader must show the face his team needs to see." Bottom Line: Be sure to show your team that you are calm and in control, even though you may not exactly feel that way at the time. Your calm demeanor will go a long way toward helping your team think clearly and react appropriately during the crisis.
Giuliani writes, "I had to communicate with the public, to do whatever I could to calm people down and contribute to a orderly and safe evacuation [of lower Manhattan.]" In addition to being visible and composed, leaders must step up in an effort to calm people down and communicate with them. Bottom Line: You must speak up and take charge of what people are thinking and feeling at the time. You must reassure them and give them a simple yet specific plan that will get people through the crisis. Outline important action steps that they can take immediately to help themselves and the team.
As difficult as the crisis can seem, remind people that there is hope. Giuliani writes: "I am an optimist by nature. I think things will get better, that the good people of America and New York City will overcome any challenge thrown our way. So in the face of this overwhelming disaster, standing amid sixteen acres of smoldering ruins, I felt a mixture of disbelief and confidence... that Americans would rise to this challenge." While your athletic challenges pale in comparison to 9/11, they can still discourage, distract, and debilitate those on your team. Bottom Line: Give your team a sense of hope. Let them know that they have the ability to make it through the crisis.
So how do you handle the challenge of adversity as a leader? You have to be stronger and more resolute than ever. You are the one to whom others will be looking and if they see panic or doubt in you, then everything only gets worse. You have to be more positive, more visible, more out front with your message. Do everything you can do to get people to believe again, that these tough times are merely a blip on the radar screen, certainly nothing that's going to last. Rick Pitino, Louisville Men's Basketball Coach An important aspect of crisis leadership is empathy - really feeling for people who are suffering and communicating to them that you care. Being out in front while tragedy unfolds is critical, too, because the absence of management is extremely noticeable. Also, it is vital not to lose your perspective even when a crisis is larger than life and may seem insurmountable. Others are looking to you to see how they should react. It is important to stay on course for the long run to maintain long-term viability and success, even though it is difficult because you are reacting to day-to-day, or even minute-to-minute, to events that seem, and may actually be, overwhelming. Mohanbir Sawhney, Kellogg School of Management, Northwestern University |
