Inspire Me (February 2004)

True stories, quotes and information on inspiration, leadership and kindness to provide hope and direction in your life.

FOR ALL OF YOU COACHES WHO TAKE YOUR WORK HOME WITH YOU
by Author Unknown

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier. Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

"Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

MIKE KRZYZEWSKI
Duke Men’s Basketball Coach - Three National Championships

We aren’t coaching X’s and O’s, we are coaching people. So the more we learn about people the better. I really think it is one of the secrets to our success. We spend a lot more time on the relationships.

On Character
The most fundamental thing about being a good leader is the ability to communicate in a trustworthy manner. If you do that on a consistent basis, the element of trust is developed, which is the cornerstone on which every coach-athlete relationship should be built.

Coaching is about relationships. It goes way beyond X’s and O’s. You have to create an environment of trust among your staff and athletes. Without trust, you have nothing. If you do have trust, you will be able to accomplish great things.

On Commitment
A leader can’t ask anything of those he or she is leading that he or she is not willing to do as well. As a leader you have to do it really well - at a much higher level than anyone else.

On Caring
I think you show someone you care about them by being willing to listen to them. There is no better way to show you care than to give them time. Certainly if you develop programs that will help them academically, you talk to them about their personal lives, you handle their training properly, you handle their nutrition properly, you remember their birthdays, you know their parent’s names, you know their girlfriend’s name, you will show that you care.

The key word for all of this is empathy, not sympathy. On a day-to-day basis we all have pressures we have to deal with. You have to try to understand their world. Basically having empathy shows that you care.

On Confidence-Building
If an athlete knows you believe in him or her, then when that kid goes through dark moments, he or she will know they are not alone. We all have those moments and it is important to know that others are with you. Our guys know that they are never alone because we develop relationships and let them know we believe in them.

Do you get on them for mistakes of omission or commission? We get on guys for mistakes of omission. I will really get on people who don’t concentrate or those people who don’t play hard. You have to create an environment where people can make mistakes without worrying about it so much. If they are concentrating and playing hard and make a mistake that is different than if their heads are in the clouds.

On Communication
A good leader listens-and more so than that, gives time to listen. The bigger the leader, the busier the leader, the harder it is to take the time to listen. You have to get it in your mind that you have to listen-that there couldn’t be any time better spent than listening.

PAT SUMMITT
Tennessee Women’s Basketball Coach - Six National Championships

On Character
I think as a coach it’s vital that you lead by example. I’m a teacher and if I want them to understand our philosophy then it’s up to me. If I want them to be on time, I’m on time. If I want them to have good communication skills, I have to have good communication skills.

I think you have to establish your philosophy. I don’t think you can try and be four different coaches. You have to arrive at what’s really important to you.

The players need you to be real. And I am very real. I always tell them that winning doesn’t give you the right to think that you’re better than someone else and losing doesn’t make you a bad person. You have to keep life in perspective and it’s never as bad as it seems, nor is it as good as it seems.

You have to surround yourself with good people and people who are on the same page as you. They’re not going to undermine you; they’re going to be incredibly loyal to you and committed no matter what your philosophy might be. You have to have that loyalty and support.

On Commitment
I expect our teams to work just like I do. They know I’m here early and I stay late. I watch film with them. Whatever it takes. If they want to shoot extra, I’m here.

On Caring
I really think first and foremost you generally have to care about the people you work with. I don’t think you can fake that. I think it’s got to be real and the reason I love so much what I do is that I get the opportunity to work with people. You develop those relationships and if I didn’t care then I wouldn’t be doing this.

On Consistency
Our philosophy is to be firm, be fair, but be consistent. Players really watch for coaches who favor their best players. I’ve never really had a problem with that. I like people. I’m not about titles; whereas a lot of people are about titles. I’m friends with the custodian and the president of the university. It’s just people and there’s a right way and a wrong way to treat people and that’s true with discipline.

GARY BARNETT (oops!)
Colorado Football Coach

On Having A Passion for Your Job
As a head coach, you have to have a passion for all the little details. The little things that most people consider ugly and hard that are terrible about this job. You have to have the passion to do them. You have to have the passion to sit down and discipline them. You have to have the passion to sit down and deal with academic dishonesty. You have to have the passion to sit down and deal with fundraising… all those things you have to have a passion for.

If you show that passion in the things you do, you might come across as narrow-minded. I don’t want to say obsessed, but in a way people may see you that way. They can’t help but understand; boy my part of this whole thing is pretty damn important to this guy. I just think that’s how you have to be. And life just isn’t fun unless you have passion.

On Building Trust
You’ll never have a great team until you win the trust of your athletes. You can get to a certain level, but you can never get to the highest level. A perfect example is the first six games I was here at Colorado. The players weren’t behind a single thing we were doing. And we were a pretty talented team. We were as talented as any team in the Big 12, but they weren’t behind what I wanted to do.

After six games, we had a couple of leaders who stood up and said, “Look what we’re doing to ourselves guys. We’re more worried about the things that divide us than we are concentrating on the things that bind us.” And so, after the sixth game of the year we became as good of football team as there was in the country the last 7 games - statistically and anywhere on the field. And we became as tight of a team as you can be. It was as much fun coaching that team for me as it was that team that went to the Rose Bowl.

And it was simply because somehow one night the guys said, “Okay, we tried it our way and it didn’t work, so let’s try it their way, let’s do it their way.” And we didn’t have a bad practice; we didn’t have a bad meeting because everything was positive, upbeat and good from that point on.

On Change
Coaching is a dynamic profession and you can’t get stuck in year one. You have to understand that year two is different than year one and you have to decide how much you’re going to change with it or how much you’re not, based on what your own values are. That’s what I see as one of the biggest issues in coaching right now. Can I hold on to the values I had eight years ago and are they worth holding on to? Those are things I have to ask myself everyday.

On Delegation
You can’t be all things to all people. What I’ve done, rather than be the expert on defense or the expert on offense, I’m the expert on getting them ready for the game or the expert on special teams or running the game. I don’t try to be all those things. I have someone else that is delegated that responsibility who knows the most about that area. If there is an area that I know more about than anybody else then that is the niche that I take. But I don’t try to do and be all those things to the players. I try and earn their confidence based on what I do well and what I can show them that I do well. And if I can’t show them that I can do a particular thing well then I don’t expect them to have confidence in me. And so as a result I don’t take on that responsibility.

On Continuous Improvement
I think every experience you have, everywhere you go, there’s a chance to learn something. And what I’ve discovered is that there isn’t that much of a difference between my business and anybody else’s business. There is something that I can learn from someone at my level in another business or a different part of the world. I read constantly. I read everything I can get my hands on.